September! 1 year later...

So I was hired at the hospital, on a part time basis, but hoping it will be full-er time hours. 4 shifts a week, while going to class will be good. I am sure I can handle it. At least I will be able to bring in a decent income while earning my degree. And although I had to leave the Co-op program, they were very supportive and said I could see them anytime.

Last I wrote I was at week 10 and down 16. I am now at week 21 and down 20. Not that much progress, but I haven't gone backwards, and I won't! August was stressful, to say the least. I was waiting for my job offer, my brother had major surgery and other family drama. As well, we had a family reunion and I allowed myself off the wagon abit. Getting back on is not easy.

I have some plans on how to acheive my next set of goals. First, I will definately need to pre plan each meal. I will need to have 2 lunch bags, one for school, one for work (when I am on afternoons). However, when I work days I should be home by 4 and time to cook a nice dinner. I know this is going to work well for me. I am only taking 2 classes, but maybe taking one easy one on-line. I will be scheduling my workouts. I may join the gym at work to ensure that I get my excercise in. However, with classes starting at 10, if I get up at 7 am I should be able to get a good work out in before school.

As well, I am starting a Couch to 5K program which should have me running 5 Kilometers in 9 weeks. I am pretty pumped about this challenge. It is outlined and even has a download of music with good beats and chimes to let you know when you should go from walking to running and vice versa.

So overall I am pretty pumped this fall. I am excited and nervous. I am looking forward to the challenges and making more lifestyle changes towards a healthier me. My reward for my 20lb loss (and keeoing it off a month) is to call and make an OBGYN appointment. It will be in April. This gives a chance to work towards my 70lb goal but be satisfied with a 50lb loss. I should be under 200 very soon and I am so excited!!!!

Life is great!

Fingertips A'drumming!

So far so good this summer. I applied for a FT position at the hospital and I have a good feeling I will get it...or at least part time.

I will continue with my school and go part time--maybe 3 classes a semester. This should see me graduate in Dec 2012 instead of September 2012 which is fine by me. I keep reminding myself and others that I didn't set a specific date. I gave myself 4 years, so if I finish before May 2013, then I am rocking! If it is after, no big deal.

I feel as though I am changing drastically. It is a makeover that is long overdue. I can see that the busier I keep myself the more I accomplish. When I 'budget' my time accordingly, my day runs smoothly and I get a lot done. I think I am just tired of being 'lazy' (still hate that word and disagree but it's the best i can come up with!)

I have been on Sparkpeople for 10 weeks now and have lost a total of 16 pounds. I am now at the weight I was when I got pregnant at least twice! 211! Wow. I had a little set back this weekend due to overindulgence but I put my runners on yesterday and today and worked my ASS off! I also have found that greasy foods just make me sick now and i need to really limit there intake!

Overall, I am really happy and proud of myself. I have never felt so accomplished before. There are some negative things about this though. Mainly I think some people are having a hard time dealing with the new me. More confident. More sure of myself. Less crying. I try to be positive all the time (and I used to be this way, even when depressed). I can always see the brighter side of things and that is hard for some who only want to focus on the crap and want/choose to be miserable. I know that things won't always work out or go my way. I am sure I will face more hardships and heartache in my future. But the only thing that I can do is learn. "...Accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr

Live, Laugh, Love
xoxo

So Much Is New!

Wow It has been awhile!! Here's what's been happening!

1. Finished 1st year of University! 2 A's, 1 A- and 1 B!! Overall 10.0!!! Good for me!
2. Got 'head hunted' for a summer position as supervisor/accountant/manager etc at the local hospital! It was a great feeling to be wanted!
3. Started said job and getting many compliments! Feels GOOD! Enjoying it! (I do miss classes but this is awesome! lol)
4. Celebrated 1 year of the start of my happiness!
5. Started SPARKpeople and have stuck with it for 6+ weeks and lost 10+ pounds! Very Proud of myself!

So overall life is good. There are some family/friend issues but some things have to resolve themselves. I just really wish people could learn from my 'mistakes' or 'successes' and save themselves some heartache. There always is a silver lining!

Although we are not currently TTC, I still think about it daily. I have not been able to cut myself off BBC and now working at the hospital they play 'lullabye' everytime a baby is born. Although I do not get sad when I hear it, I just wish it was my baby's birth they were chiming for! I know that the steps I am taking now will get me closer to having a baby so I am staying focused!

Cheers!!
Live
Laugh
Love

Second of the Day....New Topic...Sort Of

Here is the question I ponder: If I was still at Tim.my's, would I feel this way? (Happy, that is!)

I really think the answer would be NO! I would still be obsessed with trying. I would still be killing myself trying to please people who cannot be pleased. I would still be thinking about my losses and focusing way too much on them. Tim.my's would just be a reminder that I am in the same spot, for over 7 years!

So I am still ever so happy that I quit. I moved on. I gave myself something new to focus on. I have regained my self esteem. I know my self-worth. I am confident and proud of myself, once again. I can see my "failures" as lessons and continue to learn from them.

So, if I were still throwing coffee, I would still be miserable.

Best decision ever made.....

WHEW

WHEW...made it through. Yes March is not quite over. Yes, I am still waiting for Aunt Flo. Her arrival could be the breaking point.

I am expecting Aunty Flo, but don't know when. My regular cycle, I should have ovulated around March 1st. I know I did not. I am not quite sure when I ovulated, but I think it has passed. Now I am waiting and wondering if this month is the month? Wouldn't that be funny? I decided to wait (again) and even got a prescription so I have no excuses when AF arrives. Yet part of me secreatly hopes that I won't need those pills.

My reason, besides birth control, to go back on the pill is to 1. regulate my cycle, 2. clear up my skin and 3. keep my moods steady. It is proven that since going off the pill I have experienced a few bluer days and some emotional times, however, not nearly as bad as a year ago. My skin has been horrific, as one pimple clears up, 2 more beasts show up! Painful! Which causes me to squeeze the crap out of them, and being that they are "blind" never "pop" and I scab up my face instead! It has been fun selling skin care to customers with huge honkers hanging off my chin and neck.

Now the funny thing...in the last 3 days, my skin has cleared up. No new pimples. HMMMM This is what drives me bonkers and makes me obsessive. As well, my bb's hurt and my nips. I have some light twinges and cramping here and there. I am tired. I have a cold and have been producing copious amounts of snot for well over a week. I keep feeling like AF is here. But she's not. Even though I don't know the exact date of O, I am pretty sure it was last week. So I am not quite 7DPO. Have I tested? What do you think? OF COURSE! And sawa nice pink evap line on the first one!

So I am sitting here, waiting patiently for the bitch to arrive. I am just praying that when she does, I accept her with open arms and continue to be as happy as ever!