November Rain

It is now November. Has it gotten better? Yes and No.

I am still struggling with family issues, issues that I need to get over with and make peace with. Life is too short to carry grudges and be upset over the things we cannot change..."God grant me the serenity..."

I am still working away towards my goal of 40lbs. I am 9 pounds closer to trying to concieve. The metformin is what is doing this for me. I will talk to the Dr wed about what the heck I can eat without Shi**ing my brains out. I still need to improve my regiem. eat more consistently, scheduled and planned. I need to re-introduce myself to excercise. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to carry full term, twins, even, if God wills.

YET stupid me has started smoking again. each one I lite I think "why am I an idiot?" I know I will be able to stop again when I need to but I am already feeling the poisions affecting my body...charlie horses and feeling like crap.

Today is a good day. As I type we are getting new cupboards and drawers and a pantry in our kitchen! Now I will have space for hopefully all my appliances, tools, saran wrap! Even a Kitchen Aid mixer if Santa is good to me.

As well, I have married the most amazing man ever! He and Nick started the framing 2 weeks ago. They used an air nailer to do some of the framing but Nick was unable to leave it. Charles has been framing by himself with a hammer and nails for the last week. There is a possibility we will have it finished by CHRISTMAS.

Finally, we booked our trip to Arizona for New Year's so we can see my parents. i miss them so much. Maybe this is why fall is not getting better for me. Not that I blame them, i just need to grow up and deal on my own!
Charles and I are both working 6 days to pay for Christmas this year!

Heather