Figuring Things Out


So it may not have been depression but just very bad PMS! Which is good, in all actuality. My cycle was almost exactly the same as last cycle. I ovualted on day 18 and started spotting 11 days later and AF started 2 days later, at 13 days past ovulation. The good news is I am in tune with my body. A few days before I o'd I got the EWCM and knew, but last time we didn't try at all. Then on O day I had cramps unbelievably bad in my sides! I feel smart knowing exactly when I o without any tests to help! Just pay attention to your body and you'll know! Now if the same is true this cycle, we will once again be camping with the in laws during my fertile time. So we have to bring a tent so we can sleep privately! Wink Wink.

The scarry thing is that if it does happen it will be exactly like last year, m/c in march, pg in july and then a m/c in september! I think I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen this month, I just think it is too surreal that it could and that the outcome could be bad.

As well, I am so HUGE now. I am in a size 22 or 2x, even a 3 x at zellers! I cannot get many pairs of pants/shorts/capri's on and shirts that were loose 6 months ago are tight! WHAT THE FUCK! The good news is that in the last week, in my PMS/PPD I have realized on I am on a stupid path and I need to get off. SO far I have biked for 24 minutes, plus warm up and cool down. I felt excellent afterwards and was able to make it through my shift much easier then usual. I even felt lighter/smaller, and I cannot wait to bike again, today or tommorrow.
It scares me that I already look 12 months pregnant!

I have an interview this friday for an accounting position and I can't wait. part of me is so ready to move on but part of me wants to stay and get pg and have the support of my bosses and co-workers. So we'll see, if anything the experience will be good for me.

I was basically told by my boss that I would never get promoted at Tim's again. So basically move on....