Where are you Flo?

Still no AF!
I had a bit of spotting 2 days ago but now nothing, nadda! I feel like I am losing a little weight but sometimes I feel like that and in reality I have gained. I keep eating chocolate and salt thinking auntie is upon me but still... I have spoken with a co-worker who is also heavy. We both laughed when we realized that part of our problem is we never notice the weight unless it is in a picture. Is this the opposite to Aneroxia?? Or maybe even a form of aneroxia. Weird. But at the same time when I have lost a substantial amount of weight in the past I noticed that i still felt like I was heavier, for example, could wear size 16 but still felt size 20. And now at size 22 I am getting scared. Scared that I will never get it together. I know how to do this!! Why can't I?? i need to ban myself from this f*cking computer and the bullentin boards that I watch. These ladies write so much it takes me an hour to catch up and then what! What a waste of a day. So this is a bit of thearpy for me. The bike sits next to me, idle. My poor JRT is sitting patiently and would so loved to be walked. So that's exactly what I am going to do! It is so beautiful out. So now I am going to finish dressing and put some runners on and head out!!