Even God must get the blues....

I love that Song. Jo Dee Messina and Tim McGraw. Kind of makes you stop and think.

I am feeling quite melancohly, if that is the word. The world around me seems to be moving so fast but I feel slow! Slow to get my body back to where it was and then start trying to make a go at weight loss and conceiving an actual living and breathing child!

I am just as moody as I was 4 weeks ago! I am giving Charles a hard time and hate myself for it. I just wish that someone was here to understand. As well, my so called "friend" C hasn't called me, as usual. Of Course it was my birthday and she never called. Why do I care and let myself be hurt by her? Then i start to second guess my self and worry that something is wrong with her or something traumatic has happened to her! But this is her normal MO! Never Fing calls! At least I have J & R. They are there for me.

I left work again this evening early. I am so ready to move on in every sense of the word! I applied for 2 jobs this weekend. I didn't hear from either....yet! Keep positive.

Last week was the 2 year anniversary of Sean dying. It has been hard. My silly brother told me that he came to him one night and then I of course could not sleep for 3 nights!!!

I have the forms to go and get the tests needed to see if there is somethign wrong with me or if it is just bad luck or my weight! I have to test my hCG levels until they go down to zero and then we can start trying again!

Well I am off to walk the dog, as that usually makes me feel mentally better, although not physically! YET