WOOHOO!

I MADE IT!
Okay, okay! It is only the 29th but come one! I made it through the month without a major break down. Not even a minor one.
I made it through the 22nd-okay I did get teary eyed at one point but I controlled it. Plus that day I had two midterms so that kept my mind preoccupied! Then I went shopping with April and bought some clothes and went for dinner! (That is when I got teary-I'll explain in a sec). I made it through the weekend and a baby shower for April! Yes I got a little choked up the night before but it's becuase my mom wrote an awesome note for April and Ryan to go with Rye's baby sweaters. And yes-truthfully there was some longing that I wished it were me! But it passed quickly and I thank God for that!

So the reason I got teary is becuase I was telling April how proud I am of myself and how I am COPING! I started to say that today (it was the 22nd) was a hard day for me. First because it is the day Dianamighty died three years ago and because that was my first ever EDD! I remember thinking, when she died, that God worked in mysterious ways. He knew that Stephan would need me at that time. I know that sounds weird but it is how I rationalize things!

But I made it through and continue to trod along! I have had a tremendous school work load these last two weeks and it will continue from now until December!

SCHOOL is awesome. I am doing well, getting mostly 70's (which is above the average) and passing math, which is the goal! I got accepted for Co-op which means in May I will have a full time job for a semester! I can't wait to get back to work in an office environment. I have to decide where I want to go tho. Factory? Bank? Human Resources? Accounting office? I am not sure yet.

I do think I will work towards my CMA designation. If I maintain a 75 GPA then I will be exempt from the entrance exam! I am working hard towards that! Of course, right now I should be studying but needed a break! Exam tomorrow and I have procrastinated!!! AS usual!

So I can still say, that I have definitely made the right decision. Quitting my job and taking a REAL break from TTC is just what I've needed. I am so happy! That is all I can say! HAPPY!

Yes I still dream of motherhood. But getting my shit together first is so much more important. I am losing a little weight and plan on a routine....just need to get my ass outta bed before 6am!!

Life is good!